5-MeO-DMT RETREATS


Take a deep breath and ask yourself...in an ultimate, cosmic sense...who are you? Where are you? When are you? What even is identity, space, or time? Sometimes when we ask these questions, it can be a little disorienting, maybe even disconcerting, to confront the fundamental sense of mystery that underlies existence. My observation is that this kind existential angst may be the deepest root of human suffering, perhaps even deeper than the fear of death. After all, as we reflect on mortality, we still imagine a stable "me" that exists until death and how that "me" may be remembered by loved ones. But what exactly is this "me" and how do we even know it exists? This, I would offer, is perhaps the deeper question that haunts us. Fortunately, there is a beautiful medicine that has the potential to heal our often fraught relationship with this unsettling mystery. It's called 5-MeO-DMT.

MEET THE MOLECULE

Because it’s commonly known by its chemical name, 5-MeO-DMT may sound like some new designer drug, but in fact it’s a naturally occurring molecule in the same family of tryptamine psychedelics as ayahuasca and psilocybin mushrooms, and has been used in the form of snuffs by Indigenous South American peoples for thousands of years. By way of comparison, ayahuasca’s main active ingredient is N,N-DMT (usually called “DMT”), and psilocybin’s chemical name is 4-PO-DMT. 5-MeO-DMT has been found in many different plants, a couple of mushroom species, the secretions of the Sonoran desert toad, and even within the human body.

Multicolored swirl representing the awe of psychedelic therapy & 5-MeO-DMT therapy for depression

THE EXPERIENCE

The experience of 5-MeO-DMT, as with any psychedelic medicine, varies greatly from person to person, and also depends upon the dose and route of administration. I offer the medicine in vaporized and self-administered rectal formats, which I’ll explain in detail below.

Mountains and clouds representing the awe of psychedelic therapy when vaping 5-MeO-DMT for depression

Vaping

In the United States there is a robust underground community that has developed and refined an innovative, trauma-informed, stepwise dosing protocol with 5-MeO-DMT using a series of vape pens at graduated concentrations. This protocol is gradually being adopted by practitioners and researchers in countries where 5-MeO-DMT is legal, for example in Canada with The Pattern Project. Because some practitioners and psychonauts focus on high-dose, ego-death experiences, 5-MeO-DMT has accrued a reputation as the psychedelic nuclear option, but that reputation pigeon-holes a medicine that can be very subtle and versatile at lower doses.

The vaping experience begins with a very low dose at 1:8 concentration. The ratio indicates grams/mL of freebase 5-MeO-DMT to carrier liquid. Titration is achieved by varying the length of inhalation, and by gradually proceeding to higher-concentration pens. In general, the vaping experience is very brief as far as psychedelics go, lasting anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes depending on the dose, and the peak phase of the experience can be as brief as 1 to 15 minutes.

For most people, the 1:8 pen is a relatively gentle experience optimal for easing into psychedelic territory. You may experience a sense of unity, openness, euphoria, and spatio-temporal distortion. This lowest dose is ideal for first-time psychedelic users who want a small, brief taste of a psychedelic experience without committing to the multiple hours of a mushroom or ayahuasca journey. The 1:8 pen is also optimal for working on psychological issues such as depression, anxiety, and trauma at a pre-verbal, somatic level. As the medicine starts to work, you may start to notice the places in your body that are contracted with pain and fear, and feel them starting to release and open up. In this way, the 1:8 can feel like a much-needed deep tissue massage: relaxing, cathartic, and possibly painful in a hurts-so-good kind of way.

You may get your needs met with the 1:8 pen alone, but most people proceed to the 1:4 pen, which has twice the concentration of medicine. The 1:4 pen in most cases initially feels like a more intense version of the 1:8 pen. The deep tissue massage of your mind and body proceeds, but at a deeper level, potentially stirring up more anxiety. As you gradually titrate the 1:4 dose with longer and longer inhales, eventually you will likely start to shift from psychological material into more existential material.

The upper tiers of the 1:4 pen (i.e., 8 to 10 second inhales) can feel like you are starting to circle a black hole sucking you into oblivion. For some people, this gravitational pull stirs up a high degree of fear and resistance, since it feels like the black hole is threatening death and nonexistence, complete obliteration. On your first 5-MeO-DMT retreat, you may decide to stop at this point so you can spend some weeks or months integrating what the medicine has shown you. If you feel ready to go deeper, either during that first retreat or a subsequent retreat, you can try the 1:2 pen, which is usually sufficient for the black hole to envelope you completely. At first, it may feel as if you are dying and will be lost to the void forever; however, as you completely relax and let go, the medicine will sweep you into an ecstatic unity experience that some people describe as a kind of spiritual orgasm: the full release, an ecstatic and mystical dissolution of ego boundaries into what feels like a transcendent field of infinite cosmic energy.

Radiant strings of lights representing the awe of the full release of psychedelic therapy when vaping 5-MeO-DMT for depression

I try not to overemphasize the full release because it’s possible to get so bedazzled by it that you’ll want to return to 5-MeO-DMT again and again for the cosmic bliss out. That’s no problem if the intention is recreational use, but as a far as spiritual growth is concerned, this pattern can lead to spiritual bypassing and stymied integration. That said, I do think the experience is valuable to have at least a few times to practice letting go completely of who or what you think you are. Crossing this threshold seems to produce a noticeable global decrease in the fear of death and uncertainty for many people.

Self-Administered Rectal

For your dignity and privacy, I like to note up front that this route of administration is self-administered. You deliver the dose yourself in private. The procedure is as follows: I will provide you with a syringe containing a 5-MeO-DMT solution, lube, gloves, and wipes, and then leave the room. Using a gloved hand, you will lube the syringe and insert it about 2 inches into your rectum and depress the plunger, clean up with wipes as needed, get redressed, and then call me back into the room.

Seaside cliffs and blue ocean representing the peace of psychedelic therapy when 5-MeO-DMT for depression is rectally administered

This procedure may seem undesirably complicated or uncomfortable as compared to the straightforward simplicity of vaping, but there are many compelling reasons to consider rectal. The experience feels radically different, has a gentler come up (about 5 minutes), lasts longer (30-60 minutes), can be more deeply healing at a somatic level, and is excellent for here-and-now integration. Whereas vaping often has a kind of flashy, vaporous, ethereal quality to it, in that you may feel like you are suddenly turning into a white fractal cloud in a different dimension, rectal feels very deeply embodied. At the appropriate dose, you can feel like a warm, healing energy is slowly permeating through every fiber of your body, helping you to feel safe and at home in your own skin right where you are. For many of us, our most primal fear can live in the internal anal sphincter muscle, which may be chronically clenched, leading to pelvic floor problems that may impact urological, gastrointestinal, and sexual functioning. Rectal 5-MeO-DMT treats these issues right at the source.

Psilocybin (4-PO-DMT) vs. 5-MeO-DMT

Most of the time, I recommend 5-MeO-DMT over 4-PO-DMT (psilocybin) for a first-time psychedelic experience, and here’s why:

  • 5-MeO-DMT causes minimal nausea for most people whereas psilocybin mushrooms can be extremely nauseating.

  • 5-MeO-DMT is more trauma informed because it’s easier to titrate the dose and length of the experience, so there’s less risk of overwhelming the nervous system.

  • 5-MeO-DMT is usually very fast-acting (5 to 30 minutes), so you can retain your sense of agency between administrations and consciously choose your dose and approximately how deep you want to go. Psilocybin is usually a long experience lasting 4-6 hours, and once you get on the roller coaster, you can’t get off until its over.

  • Because it’s so fast, 5-MeO-DMT tends to more precisely target what you’re wanting to work on at a level suitable for your nervous system, whereas psilocybin journeys can sometimes meander through overwhelming, strange, and unfruitful territory.

  • 5-MeO-DMT is endogenous since it has been found in human blood and cerebrospinal fluid whereas psilocybin is exogenous. This means when you take 5-MeO-DMT, you’re taking a bio-identical molecule, and this is often reflected in the experience because it feels like the medicine is opening up a channel that is already within you. The exogenous quality of psilocybin can be complex because for some people it can feel like receiving teachings from a wise plant spirit, but for others it’s like being at the mercy of an invasive entity.

  • At higher doses, 5-MeO-DMT is much more powerful than psilocybin and significantly more likely to induce complete ego death (full release) experiences, if that’s something you’re seeking.

PRICING

The initial 50-minute consultation is $100; after that, each 50-minute integration session is $200. There’s a 50% extra charge for couples. Full-day individual meditation retreats (most popular) are $2000 each. I require a minimum of 4–6 integration sessions, so that adds on $800–$1200 to the total price. I am an out-of-network provider for all insurance plans in the state of Oregon.

The pricing for different retreat formats is summarized below.

  • Full-Day Individual Retreat (most popular): $2000

  • Half-Day Individual Retreat: $1000

  • Full-Day Couples Retreat: $3000

  • 4–6 Required Integration Sessions: $800–$1200 (50% extra for couples)

  • Family, Group, & Multi-Day Retreat Options Available Upon Request

I offer a 25% discount on all services for BIPOC, LGBTQ, and low-income clients, as well as clients with disabilities.

READY TO CONNECT?

Click the button below to request your 50-min Consultation so we can start exploring the possibilities of your 5-MeO-DMT retreat.